


Idiots

by Medie



Category: Stargate: Atlantis
Genre: Humor, M/M, Shameless Canadiana, Snark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-04-12
Updated: 2005-04-12
Packaged: 2017-10-17 08:02:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/174658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Medie/pseuds/Medie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>for akire_yta. Rampant Canadian silliness.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Idiots

**Author's Note:**

> for akire_yta. Rampant Canadian silliness.

"Are you _insane_?" McKay thundered at the halfwit trembling before him. "Are you _trying_ to get us all killed because, congrats, crack open a bottle of champagne, have some truffles and kick back, you have succeeded!" He stabbed an outraged finger at the laptop's screen. "With that programming, you're going to overload the system and blow the generators, set off a chain reaction that will go through the entire city and quite possibly create enough explosive force in the process to overload the naquada in the Stargate itself and create a very nice gaping hole where Atlantis used to be!"

"Uhhm wouldn't the water just fill it in?" Someone asked innocently and promptly earned a glare that would have made a Wraith wet its pants. "Or, y'know, nevermind."

"Idiots." McKay slapped a hand over his eyes. "I am surrounded by idiots!" He groaned. "I'm going for coffee. Somebody fix the programming before the moron here blows us all the way back to Earth."

Stalking out of the room, he completely missed the figure of one Major John Sheppard lounging against the wall.

Rodney made it all of two steps before Sheppared called after him, "So, if you're surrounded by idiots, why'd you sign in on the first place?"

Not missing a beat, McKay stopped, turned swiftly on one heel and snapped, "Oh it's a rule. There had to be a Canadian on this thing since we simply can't let Americans outside their own borders - much less the galaxy - unescorted for the simple fact your foreign policies have all the subtly of a drunken, high on LSD, bull in a China shop. Somebody's gotta keep an eye on you and," he waved expansively, "lucky me, I'm the Canadian that got the short hockey stick!"

John regarded him for a moment with an amused grin then said, "Canada saw their chance to get rid of you huh?"

Rodney heaved an exaggerated sigh (had to be, John knew the real deal, and, wow, that was kind of depressing. He was _keeping track_.) and nodded. "Pretty much, yes. That and I'm freakishly smart and you need freakishly smart."

"Well, yeah, that too," John shrugged. "So, I hear you're headed for coffee?"

"I am." Seemingly mollified by his ready agreement, McKay stepped closer, lowering his voice. "Ever hear of Tim Horton's?"

"Yeah, a few of the Canadian guys in Afghanistan were always extolling it's virtues." John grinned. Extolling, hoarding, generally behaving like they were hiding contraband instead of coffee. Couldn't have been _that_ good. "To hear them talk it was an orgasm in a mug." Really, really, not that good.

"If you do it right," Rodney said, nodding. He then leaned in to add, "I might have a stash. _Might_."

John's eyebrows creeped up. Coffee. Real, proportedly _good_ coffee that he did not have to brave angry Marines and slightly terrifying physicists to drink. Well, this just might be promising and in more ways than one. "Oh, do you?"

"Like I said, maybe, yes, I might." Rodney whipped backward, chin in the air, arms across his chest. "Maybe."

"Well, if you did," John said, stepping closer. "Then don't you think, in the interests of relations and all, you could _share_?"

Rodney's eyes narrowed and John almost saw the debate behind his eyes. At least, until they closed and he breathed the words, "One cup."

"One and a half."

"One and a quarter."

"Two."

Rodney's gaze turned into a full on glare. "Perhaps someone has mistakenly described the finer points of negotiation to you, but you're supposed to negotiate _down_."

"But then I get less coffee," John said, trying for reasonable. "And if this stuff is as good as you say, I'm going to want more, right?"

"See," Rodney huffed, "That is exactly what I am talking about." Shaking his head, he whipped around and started down the hall. "You'll get what I give you!"

"Beginning to see why they kicked him out." John muttered to himself before falling into step.


End file.
